Bachelorette Chat

 

Let's get this party started.

Yesterday I was sick.  So very sick.  But I stayed up to watch.  Of course I did.  These thoughts are a day old & coming through a thick haze.  

Constantine.   Did you even know his name before tonight?  Probably not & if you did you probably thought of the Constantine from American Idol.  I know.  Me too.  He was just as creepy.

What is with the Adidas sandals circa 1996?  I mean really.  My sister wore those her senior year of high school & she actually played soccer.  What's his excuse?

Why are they so impressed with the old guy's advice?  Who cares.

And then at dinner, does he really have his shoes off & his ankle socks still on.  Never a good look.  Can this date just be over.

And onto the group date.  I actually appreciate that they at least do something in the communities, but what always surprises me is how surprised they are that it feels so good.  Growing up in the culture I grew up in & as my mother's daughter I think serving others was beat into my head.  It is fun to see them enjoy it so much & remember I should enjoy it too.  okay...a little deep for bach...I know.  but true?  yes.

Ashley is so completely insecure it is driving me insane!  I might scream if she laments Bentley leaving one.more.time.  Own it & move on.  Although I get that she hasn't seen all the crap footage.  Monday nights must be real fun for her about now.

JP is still the cutest.  Takes her out to the sand.  Perfecto.  And again, he wins for best kiss.  So why the Bentley hang over?  Why???

What the heck is up with Ryan?  bug. bug. bug.  Interrupting her as she is about to hand out the rose?  I might have just sent him home right then for that. 

Ames.  Ames?  Ames gets the 2nd 1-on-1?  Wow.  She is really committed to this process.  Although he was surprisingly personable.  And can't be that location.  Really.  Scot?  Are you listening?  I want to go there.  

Why 1 more rose?  Why???  People to eliminate asap.  Nick. {Bleached hair on guys is never good.}  Ben C. {Did you see how square his head is?  I would not want to birth that child.}  West. {Okay, I know touchy subject on the wife front, but he's weird, if I'm being completely honest.}  Constantine. {For the adidas sandals alone & the fact that his name is Constantine...what if he wants to pass that on or something?}  William.  {Great first date, but all things considered he's a 30 year old cell phone salesman...where's that going?  If I'm Ashley I'm aiming a bit higher than that at this point.}

Ryan...you're walking on thin ice.  Blake...don't be a chick & call him out.

I will leave Ames still up for grabs for the fact that he's obviously no slouch in the life department, that wins major points in my book & he proved himself good company.

Until next week.  Who could possibly be in that hotel room.  I wish it was producers showing her all the crap footage.  Surely I will be disappointed.

Babhelorette Chat.

I know. I know.  I said today was going to be for Megan...but we have to interrupt this Grad parade for a little Bachelorette Chat.

I also know that Bachelorette is classified as 'smut.'  But I can't help myself.  I really tried this season to not tune in & then I heard all the chatter & my sister promised that Ashley wasn't too annoying & so here I am.  Tuning in every Monday, with my mom, sister & Hailey {my favorite self-claimed 'socially awkward' person}.  Really you should know she is not socially awkward & can make me laugh so hard I pee my pants on a very regular basis.

So to the Bachelorette.  My thoughts, in no particular order:

- Is it me or is the dancing thing old?  I'm not a dancer, nor can a tell you anything about it, but I'm going to go out on a limb & say she probably wouldn't get a ticket to Vegas on SYTYCD so why do I care?  Although I get it...dancing is easier to work into a date than a teeth cleaning.  And what guy really looks good dancing?  Makes for good tv.

- Ben C....stop. talking. now.  He has them over-the-moon in love in a unrealistic portrayal of marriage after a flash mob.  He said it...not me: "In that moment, I decided this is the kind of woman I could spend the rest of my life with." um.  Dancing a flash mob just pushed you over the edge into that ever-lasting love that you went on. and on. and on. about?  Pretty sure you're going to be disappointed with those expectations & measuring sticks.  Just sayin.

- What is with the roast?  Of course she is going to end up crying.  Of course Bentley will console.  Of course I will want to poke my eyes out.  And what's with all the hating on small boobs?  They have their perks...pun intended.

- William's punch lines are funny, but the delivery needs some serious help.  And instead of running around LA - just man up & apologize & then tell her you thinks she fab.  end of story. 

- Blake got it just right & why aren't we seeing more of him?

- How come Ames is still here?  Did you see him at the rose ceremony?  Of course you did...army green  circa Germany 1940's?  I have never liked that color.  Even if it comes from JCrew...I'm not buying it & neither should he or you for that matter.  He really has to nail the dress part all things considered.

- Bentley.  Not even going there.  dot. dot. dot.  gag. gag. gag.  Can Bachelorette tapes be used in custody hearings?  I hope it is all an act because who wants to deal with him in real life?

Sorry guess I went there.

- If I'm Ashley watching this is my anger directed towards Bentley or the producers.  ouch. 

- ah JP.  He's my favorite.  My sister & I decided he's the Ryan of Trista's season {yes...we've been watching that long} -- good hearted, quiet, solid.  He even said the right thing to her when she was on the verge of breakdown...'no you'll be alright.'  Yes.  And finally Ash gets a dig to Bentley: JP wins in the kissing department. 

- Ashley...listen to Chris Harrison:  He is telling you what's up.  I wish he would also tell you what's up with what you're wearing.  1 sparkly item, if you must, but that's it.

- I was hoping solar panel boy was going to be cute...looks like he might be annoying or a cheese ball.  bummer.

- And...Why aren't there more cute guys?  Not loving her sampling.