Sunday, July 4, 2010

Satuday Work Day.

if you've read my ramblings for any sort of time, you probably know i love to mow my lawn. you probably also know that my mother was a yard work nazi growing up, just like her dad. she'd sound the alarms at 7 am {claiming it was really 7:30, even though our bedside clocks clearly marked it 7 am}. we'd drag out of bed, do our family chores & then tackle our individual lists. work days usually lasted until lunch time. but when they were over, we usually played. played. played. water basketball, water volleyball, friends, movies.

so that being said, you may also now know what my own children are being subjected to.

at 3 and 1. saturday. work day.

and yesterdays was in desperate need. after our frolics in the sand, it was time we face our responsibilities in the yard department. there are very few things i hate more than an unkempt yard.

i graciously handed the mowing duties over to scot. mind you, i mow 85% of the time, because usually it happens during the week. but alas, i was too busy frolicking in the sand & it needed to be done on saturday. i took the trimming jobs & i had kid duty.

and while i love mowing the lawn, i must inform you that i absolutely detest our lawn mower. it has been a wedge in our marriage for 5 years. i rightfully blame scot for the stupidest lawn mower ever that is my arch enemy on a weekly basis. really. i do not exaggerate. i will hi light two of it's non-features:

1. it is not self-propelled.

i know, you probably didn't even know those were made...electric lawn mowers that is. i didn't either until scot in his newly married manhood, insisted that we save the earth & have an electric mower.

what the hell?

i begged, pleaded & even informed that i would be the one that used it more, so i should get to at least choose gas. he balked at the suggestion that i would use it more & pointed out the annoyance of going to mow the lawn, only to be out of gas. i pointed out the annoyance of having a dang cord attached to it all the time, every time.

but now you also know which one of us is more stubborn. betcha thought it was me, but i am the unproud owner of an electric lawn mower to prove otherwise.

so back to our saturday chores. i graciously handed mowing over to scot, just so i could laugh while he struggled with the beauty that is our electric mower. i knew it would be a struggle, because the grass was a tad long & well, our lawn mower sucks. oh wait, it doesn't suck, that is actually the problem.

so as i trimmed & pulled sidewalk chalk out the lady's mouth, scot tried to mow. he pushed. he pulled. he broke our crappy lawn mower.

i was beyond annoyed. i mean, what are the chances that the one time he mows he breaks the thing? i have to assume it is user error.

but i had a solution. my mom had called me the week prior with the glorious news that their neighbors were moving & not taking their gas mower with them & she knew i would want it. see, i've told you my mother was the best. does your mom call you with this kind of news?

and while this was the perfect solution i still have to truck 20 minutes both ways to my mom's & back...and it is hot & then we will still be mowing when i get home.

it threw my whole saturday agenda out the window and did i mention i was annoyed?

so i stomped with my grassy feet to the car. raced to my mom's. griped to her about my lawn mower woes & came home with my new gas mower.

and then i went to mow the lawn...

and instead of pure gas bliss i had a dismal failure.

you see, our front yard has a bit of a hill. and by hill i mean the teeniest, tiniest incline, unnoticeable to the naked eye. and despite my righteous anger i could not push that thing up the hill. even in my rage, i knew it was funny. the handle was literally hitting just below my chin as i huffed & puffed.

so instead of graciously handing mowing duties over to scot again. i stomped into the house shouting over my shoulder, 'why can't i have a gas powered, self-propelled mower like everyone else?!?'

you know, just like a fit throwing 5 year old would.

but really? why can't i?

is that really too much to ask?

later scot informed me that i would not be able to mow the lawn anymore. thanks sherlock. but really it burns my britches because when i want it done, i want it done now.

with a new generation yard work nazi on his back & full lawn mowing responsibility his let us see how quickly that gas-powered, self-propelled beauty lands in my garage.


Amanda said...

I grew up without a self propelled mower. with real hills. then, the first (and only) time I used a self propelled, it ran away from me!

here's a dumb/maybe-you've-already-thought-of-it suggestion: try lowering the handles...if the mower has that feature.

Amy said...

don't put it past me to not notice to lower the handles...because really, we all know that I am blond & that thought could totally escape me. But my type A those things do not escape him & it is a non-feature of our new, still stinky, mower!

Summers Camp said...

Hey, at least you have a yard to mow. And I don't remember a hill... *B

Cari said...

Your lawn mower stories are hilarious!

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