Thursday, March 10, 2011

A Little Mom Talk ~ Scoobs Edition

For those of you who don't know Scoobs {my oldest son} personally let me tell you a few things about him.  He is fiercely competitive.  He loves to race, win the game & keep score.  He doesn't 'keep score' on the fairness count in life {thankfully}, but he he will know if you scored more goals than him, ran faster than him or kicked the ball farther.  He keeps score at who is better at things.  And then he his fiercely competitive in beating you.  Add to this competitiveness he is also innately coordinated.  He rode a razor scooter at 18 months {like actually rode} & could follow directions enough that he could ride ahead of me & would stop at the corner of the street & wave to cars as they drove by.  Never in a million years could his sister accomplish this right now {trust me, I tried}.  He could dribble a ball & hit pitches before he was 3.  And it just keeps going.  He gets sports.  He understands the games & wants to play & win.

Lately his obsession has been basketball.  Every morning at 7 am he is beside my bed still in his pajamas asking if he can go outside & play basketball.  After that he is asking to go to Nana's to play on her 'big' hoop.  Then he wants to play you on the Wii & he has even snuck in some time on the big boys' games at the park...thankfully they tolerate him.

It never ends.

And so I signed him up to play basketball.  Not t-ball with the entire neighborhood, but basketball, all by himself, because that is what he wanted to play.  Mind you, there are not even teams for his age group, so he is playing with kids about a year older.  I was hoping against hope that I would show up to practice & find that I knew at least someone, but nope.  There was no one.

Scoobs was beyond excited.  Skipping, he could hardly contain himself on his way to practice.  And then reality stepped in.  And he realized what has already been pointed out.


He is small.  And by small I mean kids his age are a head taller.  See him up there?  He is in the red shirt & these kids are his same age.  The girl was even born the exact same month as him.

Add the fact that he is already small to the fact that he is playing with kids a year older & the disparity was easy to see.  I was beyond nervous for him because he's already shed tears about the fact that he is smaller than everyone.  Beyond nervous for him because he didn't have one 'friendly' face in the crowd to lean on.  Beyond nervous for him because they were using basketballs bigger than he anticipated & a hoop higher than he anticipated.

It all added up to the perfect storm.

And it broke my mother heart. 


He struggled through practice not making one shot.  Mind you only 3 or 4 kids were making shots, but remember my intro?  Yeah, he was well aware that he was not one of them & that is all that mattered last night.

So we struggled through & then we stayed after shooting shot after shot until one went in.  Granted, he had shot that one granny style, but that was enough for him.  I've spent all day today worried sick over Saturday's game.  I do not want this experience to break his spirit, but at the same time, I want him to learn, he is not always going to be the best.  And so today, we have been practicing more.  I have every 8 foot hoop in my area memorized & have filled every opportunity in our schedule to be on that 8 foot hoop.

And while I know that probably sounds silly, it is important to him, so it is important to me.  This isn't my first run-in with 'being short' - remember I've been short all my life, which actually never bothered me, but it bothered my 2 brothers.  It bothered them when, at some point, they couldn't compete in a sport they loved.  It bothered them, when it came time to date & most the girls were taller.  It bothered them when they were always referred to as little Kev.  It isn't always an easy pill to swallow & it takes some time to 'grow into' being short.

And so while I know this will be part of his struggle & while I have a fierce belief in struggles being for our good {i've even already seen the positive outcomes in growing up short}, it is really hard to trust it for him.  It is easy to trust it when it is my struggle.  But I desperately wish his wasn't already starting.  And so, we will practice a little more, say a few more prayers & then trust our struggle.

Until then, think of me on the basketball court & say an extra prayer for the little guy in Saturday's game.

My stomach is literally in knots for him.

3 comments:

Deirdre Eagar said...

whew, I hope you have a good season! Both our boys just finished playing basketball, both on teams that lost most of the time. it was so tuff to watch. And I wanted to KILL the kid that came up to mine and said "HAHA we beat you". Even if its a "learning experience" I hope he has fun!

Amberly said...

Z will be ok. He'll make new friends and love developing new skills. You'll probably hurt more than he will through this process- he is lucky to have you. You have great intuition and know when to push and let go and when to reign in and hold tight.

It was so great to see you today. I think you are amazing.

Lindsey said...

Little Scoobs. He's a fighter-like you Ams. He's strong. Send him over to practice. Watcha doing tomorrow?

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